History Repeats Itself
by AllieCam
Summary: Basically it's all explained in the title. If you like it, let me know, and I'll add the prequal and sequal as it is it could be a oneshot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing belonging to House- unfortunately! And I do not own the lyrics below, or anything associated with The Cardigans, for that matter. So please don't sue!

Spoilers: All of Season 1, not really anything in particular.

Title: History repeats itself.

Summary: I was a bit nervous about writing this. I wanted to post this to see what everybody thought. If anybody reviews and tells me that they'd like me to post the chapters before this one, and to continue it, I will.

This is just an idea that's been running around in my head for a while, so I thought that I'd get it down on paper (or virtual paper, that is).

Please review, and let me know what you think. (Even if you hated it).

* * *

She took his hand in hers and was relieved to feel him weakly squeeze it. He turned on his pillows to face her:

"Allison, what do you think happens when you die?" he asked in a voice so low that she had to strain to hear it. He sounded so uncertain, so afraid. And her heart went out to him.

She stood up and, without letting go of his hand, she climbed onto the bed, and lay down beside him. She slipped her right arm around his shoulders, and drew the dying man to her. He settled himself on her chest, closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her, and waited.

She said nothing for a moment, and then she spoke: "Do you remember when Joe died? I was distraught," she paused for a moment before going on, in a low voice, "I couldn't talk to my family, because I knew how they'd felt about us getting married in the first place. And I couldn't talk to you, because I knew what would happen if I did." She stopped as the nurse came into the room to check on the patient. When she'd finished recording his SATS, and left, forgetting to pull the glass door shut behind her, Cameron continued:

"I had never felt so alone, and I didn't know what to do. I used to walk for hours on end- I don't even remember where I went most of the time. I just felt that I had to get out, and get away from everything, and just do something- even if it wasn't very useful." She looked down at Mark, and raised a hand to stroke his hair. He had gone through hell as well, she could only imagine how he had managed to cope with the loss of friend that he had known since childhood. "One day, I ended up driving to this park, out near the lake. I used to go there with my family a lot, and we'd hike up one of the sides of the valley. I climbed to the top." She paused, remembering what she had felt looking down on the world below. "I can't describe the feeling- it was like nothing I'd ever experience before. I stood there, looking down into the valley, and suddenly it didn't hurt anymore. I was right at the edge, and if I'd taken one more step…" she trailed off, but forced herself to continue, "I couldn't do it- there was too much I didn't want to leave behind: I still had to finish college. I wanted desperately to be a doctor. And then there was you. No matter how much pain my love for you had caused me, I wasn't ready to give it up."

He looked up at her with a smile, and for a second, Allison Cameron saw the healthy young man she had fallen in love with while they had kept vigil at her husband's bedside all those years ago.

"And that's what I think dying is like: it's finally being able to let go- to leave everything behind, and to leap into the void. And I think that feeling is the best feeling on Earth."

"Thank you," he whispered, "even if you don't believe in life-after-death; thank you."

"I believe in that." she answered, stroking his hair again.

"Do you?" The eyes raised to hers were round and hopeful- just like a child's.

"Yes," she answered firmly, "I do."

There was silence for a long moment, and then Mark spoke again: "Not long now."

She said nothing. What could she say? The man was an oncologist- he knew that he had barely an hour left.

"Would you sing to me, Allison?" he spoke unexpectedly.

She was surprised.

"I used to stand outside Joe's room, after I'd said goodbye for the night, to listen to you singing to him. You really do have a beautiful voice, Allison."

"Thank you." then she added: "What would you like me to sing?"

"Whatever you want." he murmured.

He's slipping, she thought in sudden panic. But she didn't say it. Instead, she pulled him closer and, as the tears slipped silently down her face, she began to sing in a sweet low voice:

_'It's way too late to think of _

_Someone I would call now_

_ The neon signs got tired_

_Red eye flights help the stars out_

_I'm safe in a corner_

_Just hours before me._

_I'm waking with the roaches_

_The world has surrendered_

_I'm dating ancient ghosts_

_The ones I made friends with_

_The comfort of fireflies_

_Long gone before daylight._

_And if I had one wish fulfilled tonight_

_I'd ask for the sun to never rise_

_If God lent his voice to me to speak_

_I'd say go to bed world._

_I've always been to lame_

_To see what's before me_

_And I know nothing sweeter than _

_Champagne from last New Year's_

_Sweet music in my ears_

_And a life full of no fear._

_And if I had one wish fulfilled tonight_

_I'd ask for the sun to never rise_

_If God passed the mic to me to speak_

_I'd say go to bed world_

_Sleep in peace.'_

As she sang, she had felt his breathing become more and more shallow, and seconds after she had trailed off the monitors started to go haywire. Before she could reach over to turn off the machine, it was silenced.

She looked up to see House standing there, staring down at her, an unreadable expression on his face. She wondered how long he had been in the room, and how much he'd heard. But she didn't ask. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know.

For once he didn't make some sarcastic comment. For once, he didn't call her pathetic. Instead, without a word, he turned to go.

"Thank you." she said softly. And he knew that she wasn't only referring turning off the monitor for her. He nodded faintly, and stepped out into the hallway.

And Allison Cameron, lying on the hospital bed, cradling the body of the man she'd had to give up, found that she couldn't give way to her grief- that she couldn't shed any more tears for the injustice of a world that had let a good man succumb to a disease that had killed his best friend nine years before.

* * *

AN: Thank you very much for reading. I really hope that you liked it.

The song is: "3:45 No Sleep" by the Cardigans (possibly one of the greatest groups of all time). I don't own it, or anything that relates to this fantastic band. It's off their album 'Long Gone Before Daylight' which I recently discovered. If you haven't listened to it, I strongly suggest that you do. It'll change your life forever.


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